Open Mouth, Insert Foot and Have Montezuma Take Over
First, many sincere apologies for not writing this last 6 weeks. As my Facebook fans and friends know, I’ve been a bit under the weather and a bit overwhelmed.
You see, there are big changes brewing at Plants Nouveau. I can’t tell you quite yet, or I’d have to kill you…it’s THAT big. We are merging some fantastic new, completely diverse and different genetics into our line and working on some new stellar relationships. It’s been a H-U-G-E (out comes my inner Donald Trump) ordeal. Lawyers and breeders have been heavily involved and we’ve spent months brainstorming to make sure we do this right.
I’ve also been sick. Maybe it’s all the working and no rest that’s got my body in a funk, but I’ve had the weirdest things. No common cold or flu for this gal. It couldn’t be that easy. My doctor says, “You’re my puzzle.”
That’s not good.
One week before we left for our annual sunny, tequila and ocean kayaking filled voyage to Mexico, I came down with Hand, Foot and Mouth virus for the second time in the last 8 years.
Yes, that’s right, I said Hand, Foot and Mouth. Not to be confused with the livestock virus Hoof and Mouth, but it’s of a similar strain. Foot and Mouth or more technically Coxsackievirus is not usually contracted by adults and usually, like in the case of chicken pox, once you get it, you are immune to getting it again.
Not me. Lucky me…
Let me go on record as saying I would not wish this virus on my worst enemy. No one should ever have to endure this much pain. It’s worse than giving birth without drugs, it’s worse than when I broke my knee cap into three pieces. I’m talking excruciating pain. It is also like chicken pox in that when a child gets this, it’s no big deal. It’s just a minor sore throat. When an adult gets it…look out. They’d rather die than go through it again.
Simply put it’s ulcers way down deep in your throat. Ulcers so deep that a normal look to the throat can’t detect them. They have to look way down inside. Swallowing your own saliva feels like you are swallowing glass and the doctors tell you there’s nothing wrong.
Really? I can’t swallow my own spit…you’ve got to be kidding.
You see, I’ve had this before and I knew to tell them to look deeper into my throat. It’s never a good thing when the doctor then says…
“OMG!, there’s about 30 ulcers in your throat. No wonder it hurts.”
Told you! I wasn’t kidding. I have a high tolerance for pain, but this slapped me in the face and knocked me on my butt.
It’s a virus, so there’s nothing they can do. They prescribed percocet and I took two every four hours. That’s how bad it was. I also gargled with lydocaine. Yummy stuff. It took seven days to go away, but at least I could swallow for the first three days with the percocet. My throat is still a little tender, even after more than two weeks.
So, I mended well enough to go on our previously planned vacation to Mexico. Sun would cure me, right?
It was great. All except for the fact that I couldn’t eat any of the wonderfully flavorful, spicy foods I long for. No chorizo, no spicy mole, no margaritas cause the lime juice hurt my sores. I know…I was in Mexico, why complain? So, I trudged through and had a great time until the attack of the corn on the cob.
There was a beach party one night and they grilled all sorts of wonderful foods, including corn on the cob. It was really watery and cold, but it tasted so good to me because I love fresh corn. Watery is the key word here and I, after 10 trips to Mexico, should have known better. There are a few rules for traveling to Mexico:
- Never drink the water – even be careful in the shower
- Brush your teeth with bottled water
- Never eat un-pealed fruit unless you wash it with soap and hot water
I’ve made it through 10 trips with only one instance of Montezuma’s Revenge, until now.
It had to be the corn…I was the only one who ate it.
Being a plantweenie, I always explore homeopathy before I take antibiotics.
Plants rule, right??
As most people of my generation, I’ve have enough antibiotics in my life, so I try to avoid them and their intestinal flora robbing robots. Honestly…why rob your gut when that’s why you’re in this mess in the first place.
Right?
Everyone thinks I’m crazy, but I went the natural route to evacuate Montezuma and his force.
My naturopath knows I can’t stand powders that don’t dissolve, so what does she give me?
Slipper elm bark powder.
The grossest, most undissolvable stuff I’ve ever had to drink. She also gave me a remedy made from the roots of crotons (yes, they are poisonous…that’s the whole point with homeopathy…isn’t it?). To top it off, I’m taking massive doses of specialized pro-biotic bacteria that are made to fight intestinal bugs and high doses of echinacea (near and dear to my heart) and goldenseal (Hydrastis canadensis).
She also has me eating a very mild diet and snacking on applesauce with carob powder, which is a binding agent, and this is the weirdest thing ever – oxidized apples. I have to chop up apples (without the skin) and let them sit out and turn brown for two hours before eating them.
I’m happy to report that after 36 hours, I’m feeling almost normal. I’m so happy I did this and avoided the antibiotics. I think my body will thank me in the future.
I think I can say with almost certain confidence that Montezuma has left the building. I don’t look forward to his return – ever.
I apologize if this was TMI, but inquiring fans wanted to know.
I figure, with all of the changes going on right now, I need all the good bugs I can get to keep this little engine trudging up the big hills that are ahead.
So, keep your eyes peeled and your inboxes open for the BIG announcement on or before April 15th. It’s very exciting and we are now going to be able to kick some marketing butt, without compromising our integrity and personality. It’s been a dream of mine for a long time. This means there will be lots more plants to trial and I’m not talking just perennials either. It’s so exciting!
I’m happy to take you with me on this journey.
Thanks for listening and thanks for all the well wishes on Facebook while I was healing. I’m ready and raring to go. The garden is cleaned up, the roses are cut back and spring is right around the corner. Great things are happening all around me.
To quote some bad 80‘s pop music from one hit wonder Timbuk3, “The future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.”
Stay tuned and stay along for the ride.
Be on the lookout for my new quarterly column in Garden Center Magazine. In the April Issue I talk about zombies eating your brains. I’ll republish soon.
Happy Weeding…
Angela Treadwell-Palmer
President, Plants Nouveau
PS – I’d also like to make a shameless promotional push for you all to consider attending the 21st annual Native Plants in The Landscape Conference, held May 31- June 4 in Millersville, Pennsylvania on the beautiful, almost fully renovated campus of Millersville University.
It’s a wonderful conference and a terrific community of people who love plants and want to help diversify and feed the landscape with mindful practices and plantings of proper plants.
If you are not on our mailing list, please go here and sign up. We’ll email or mail you a 2011 program brochure. This year, we are fortunate to have quite a few native plant rock stars speaking. We have famed author and photographer and former Longwood Gardens Curator, Rick Darke; one of my favorite mentors – The fantabulously creative Landscape Architect and author Gary Smith, Professor and urban tree savior from Cornell, Nina Bassuk and master pruner and recognized author Lee Reich. All in one program!!!
Online registration is NOW. It’s the best, most jam packed, educational, fun-filled conference on native plants there is. And I’m the director and have been for the last eight years, so that makes it even better! This is my unpaid job and one of my great loves. The entire committee does this out of love for the conference and it’s attendees. We are all volunteers, yet it is the best conference money can buy. You get 2-3 nights lodging, all meals and nearly three days of lectures for about $300.
Where else can you meet so many cool, like-minded people and learn so much for so little? Sign up to attend now. You won’t be disappointed. I promise.